Clinical Practice, Family Systems and Mental Health Awareness Month

Letter From Renee, May 2023

I have recently returned to working with clients in clinical practice, working both virtually Australia-wide via Telehealth, and in-person in our brand new and beautiful allied health space in Pottsville of the Northern Rivers NSW. It has been such a joy to reconnect with some old clients and to meet new ones. The transition back has been slow and steady, as we are making our way through two years of enquiries, emails, and the culmination of administration tasks that come with a two year clinical pause. If you have enquired and haven't heard back from us yet, please know that we are now back in the clinic.

I didn't mean to take two years off one-on-one work, it was just what my family system required for maternity leave. I am, however, so grateful to be working with clients again now that I have the space and capacity. My maternity leave was much longer than what is commonly taken for maternity leave in Australia and the Western world, yet considered normal for some European countries who have more progressive maternity and paternity leave policies and financial support for young families. Viewing parenting from the lens of the family system is helpful, as we can step back and widen our perspective on family, work, life, extracurricular, support, and all of our commitments and ask ourselves what we are able to commit to, when, and what we are not. 

Viewing it from this perspective is useful because it helps us to take away gender norms and equalities or what a mother/father/parent "should" contribute, and to instead understand that any undertaking of each family member will impact the whole family system. This means that the work-related commitments and hours required of my husband is considered when I consider what I am able to take on, and vice-versa. It means that the developmental needs of my child, the practical care-arrangements, and the co-parenting plan, are all considered. Each commitment, sport, appointment, holiday, care-arrangement, schooling commitment, volunteering, work undertaking, personal project, can be viewed through this lens. The reality is that we each individually, and as a family, have limited time, energy and attention, which is simply unwise to pull in too many directions.

From this perspective, of viewing our time, attention and energy as a limited resource helps us to set personal and professional boundaries. If we take on more than we can practically handle in our professional life, it will impede on our personal and family life, and vice-versa. It's a great way to teach our children personal limits and boundaries in a natural way: if you take on that sport, you may have to sacrifice another sport; if you take on that subject, you may have to miss another subject, if you spend your time doing that, you won't have time to do this. We teach them to make decisions and choices intentionally, rather than to overfill their calendars, become overwhelmed and exhausted. We can model boundaries. 

The month of May is also Mental Health Awareness Month, a movement that was designed to raise awareness about mental health, to highlight the impact of mental health on overall wellbeing and emphasize the need for open, authentic conversations. Normalising and enhancing awareness of mental health concerns and wellbeing helps to address the barriers that prevent individuals from seeking professional help when needed. I have spoken of this before, but my time in the US revealed that in their culture it is both normal and celebrated to have a therapist, spoken of with pride as if to say, "I'm doing the inner work". In Australia, we are not quite there.

I hope we get there soon. I hope we become more progressive with adults and parents being role-models for their children, having a willingness and the courage to hold the mirror up to themselves for personal growth, healing and evolution. To start having conversations that the first step doesn't need to be having a child assessed for a diagnosis, but also, to understand that children are a part of a wider familial, intergenerational and societal system that has gone largely unchecked.

With a generation of parents willing to step into the therapeutic space, to hold up the mirror, and to face the shadows will make deep, real and significant change in mental health awareness and destigmatising seeking help for their children. In the process, we can also build up strategies in supporting positive emotion-regulation, promote healthy habits, create healthy spaces for individual expression and also social connectedness. There are so many ways we can nurture the mental health and wellbeing of young people and we will continue sharing one blog post, one podcast, one course, one workshop at a time to add value to parents who are interested. 

Self-Reflection Prompts

Reflecting on your family system: 

Are there any areas where your family system is out of balance at the moment? If so, can you list out how and why, and break down actionable steps to address it.

Reflecting on your co-parenting:

If you are co-parenting, are there any issues that need to be communicated, addressed or balanced to bring more harmony to your family system?

Reflecting on mental health awareness month:

Are you role-modelling a positive relationship with personal boundaries, mental health and wellbeing? (You don't have to be perfect, but rather showing your child/ren that you're imperfect and self-reflective.

Parenting Strategy of the Month

I want you to consider how you could bring more mental health awareness into your family life.

Some examples:

1. Do you model a healthy and active lifestyle?

2. Do you have limits around sleep hygiene?

3. Do you have a culture of talking about emotions and safety when doing so in the family?

Keep an eye on Instagram for more ideas on this topic and reach out if you have any questions. I can’t give individual advice, however, can cover general themes the following week.

Ideas I’m Exploring

I am exploring the idea of modernising psychological therapy services and my practice, specifically. Gone are the days where you need to go into a depressing room that smells of old carpet, or lay on a couch with a therapist looking over you (that was only in movies, by the way).

I am exploring modernising my psychology practice into a hybrid model to cater for both local Northern Rivers NSW in person sessions and online virtual Teletherapy sessions and online educational resources to be widely accessible and progressive.

I would love to hear from you to understand what you think makes a brilliant, modernised, hybrid psychological practice.

Dr Renee Cachia is an Australian–based psychologist in private practice specialising in childhood, adolescent and parenting development. Her first book is Parenting Freedom: Transform Stress and Depletion to Connectedness and Meaning. To connect on socials, follow @innerpracticebyrenee. If you’re interested to learn about her upcoming workshops, ensure you are on the email list on this website www.innerpractice.com.au.