Finding Home Base: The place from which everything sprouts from, psychological flexibility, and insight into my practices

Letter From Renee, July 2023

Last week I had multiple discussions with people in my life about my intention to really re-centre in a deeper way than I have since becoming a mother two years ago. I have had evolving Inner Practices since my daughter was born, as quite honestly, I do not function well without practices or rituals of some sort. Maybe I function, but I certainly don’t thrive. My intention, I told friends, was to re-establish my Vedic meditation practice which I have imperfectly had for about six years.

If you aren’t familiar with Vedic, or Transcendental Meditation, which emerges from the ancient Indian Vedic lineage, it is a form of silent mantra-based meditation that is traditionally practiced for 20-minutes twice a day. It is a powerful practice, and while there is no superior form of meditation to another and the best practice is the one that you will actually do, personally I have found the impact on my life immeasurable. When I am committed to my practice, it positively impacts every area of my life.

This testimonial probably speaks volumes as to why I have set the intention to re-commit to my personal practice, that has always been there but of late I have mixed it flexibly with exploration of other forms of meditation, contemplation and subconscious work. Yet the structure and discipline of a 20-min twice a day practice is both helpful for routine and ritual, and at times rigid within the ebbs and flow of motherhood especially with young children. A flexibility that yoga often meets for me, physically and metaphorically.

Honestly, it was both a dear friend and mentor, and the profound body of research that led me to invest in learning Vedic meditation. As of 2023, this particular form of meditation stands on mountains of empirically validated, peer reviewed published research suggesting it highly impactful for children, adolescents, parents, adults, caregivers, those in helping and service professions who are at high risk of vicarious trauma. There is a body of both soft and hard science, showing the impacts on brain waves and brain function, as well as stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, creativity and so much more.

My intention is not to convince you to learn this style of mediation, but encourage you to if interested, but to share my love for it. I have actually had a long-standing secret desire to teach this form of meditation, so maybe I will in a few years, let’s see. As synchronicities tend to work, after looking into half-day retreats or re-sitting a course to re-inspire the re-centering I was seeking, I was invited to attend a beautiful ritual which included a cocoa ceremony, a yoga flow, and a sound-healing meditation in Byron Bay (how very Byron, too).

It certainly met that need I was looking for, and I left with a deep feeling of being reconnected to my home base within which was the perfect gesture to recommit to my daily practice. I was also reminded of how much I enjoyed running mindfulness-based parent groups in Melbourne all those years ago when I had a much warmer wardrobe. I realised that despite not running any since I have been practicing in Northern NSW, they were up there with one of the favourite parts of my work. If you haven’t attended a group program or therapy before, I encourage openness to it as they can be so wonderful.

All this to say that I am going to open enrolments for ACT-based mindfulness group for parents. I’m hoping that we can run this group in-person in Northern Rivers, but if enough people express interest in doing such a group online from anywhere in the world, we can look at pivoting that way too. ACT is the acronym for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is the ‘third wave’ of cognitive therapy, a mindfulness-based therapy, that is truly life-enhancing in all ways. I practice these skills in my own parenting everyday, and honestly in all areas of life. It is the first place I turn when I get stuck, when fear puts me in freeze response, and when frankly I’m bitter at the world.

I credit ACT skills and frameworks for doing so many things requiring more psychological flexibility than I had previously from leaving my secure job years ago to live and travel in the US for 6 months, to moving interstate and setting up my life in way where I can maintain important family, friendships and connections in Victoria, to publishing a book to embracing (still a bit reluctantly, to be honest) using social media to show up for my work, to being psychologically flexible in the birth suite and nursery amidst significant breastfeeding challenges, and even developing my most recent course Attuned Parenting: Imprint Self-Regulation, Resilience and Psychological Wellbeing (which is not traditional ACT per say, but is very much consistent with ACT school of thought), when my mind tells me to just do easier and safer things so I don’t have to push my own internalised limits.

Self-Reflection Prompts

• Do you have a personal practice or ritual that helps you to find “home-base”?

• What does “home-base” even mean to you? Can you feel the difference in your life when you are centred from within?

• What sort of patterns do you notice when you’re not centred? (hint: complaining, looping on the same things again and again, polling - asking everyone else for opinions, searching for external validation or permission).

Parenting Strategy of the Month

Work on your own psychological flexibility. I promise, it will teach you skills to apply to any parenting challenge, frustration or situation that arises at any stage of the journey.

Ideas I’m Exploring

Honestly, aside from what I have already discussed in this letter in re-establishing my practices, I am taking the next steps toward sharing my work in group format: from my new Attuned Parent-Child Course now launching in Sept (which includes the parenting and child psychology with a full toolkit to support emotional attunement to self and our children) to running ACT-based mindfulness parent groups to help reduce stress, anxiety, frustrations and negative cycles within our lives and families.

If you are interested in any of the above, you are welcome to register for the Attuned Parenting waitlist on my website and/or submit a clinical enquiry to let me know you’re interested in joining a parent group. I should note the spots will definitely be limited and on a first in, best dressed basis. With a MHCP referral for group therapy, you would also likely be able to receive a Medicare rebate which I believe is currently around $40 per session.

Dr Renee Cachia is an Australian–based psychologist in private practice specialising in childhood, adolescent and parenting development. Her first book is Parenting Freedom: Transform Stress and Depletion to Connectedness and Meaning. To connect on socials, follow @innerpracticebyrenee. If you’re interested to learn about her upcoming workshops, ensure you are on the email list on this website www.innerpractice.com.au.