Many adults and psychologists focus on healing and resolving issues from our childhood that impact our self-limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviours, lack of purpose and direction, low self-worth, psychological symptoms, and insecurities. This is important work, essential, to change intergenerational patterns that pass down. My psychological lens considers what we can learn from this information and our experiences, how we can use this ‘data’ to empower parents and to apply these learnings to parenting our children.

Well into the second month of the year, the excitement of our new year resolutions are fading, and most of them have already been broken. There is something about the freshness of a new year, perhaps a feeling of new beginning, an opportunity for rebirth. I’ve been reflecting on the process of making change, stepping into and past fear, and really moving life in the direction of our choosing. This has so little to do with wanting to do something, or feeling a call to do something, but more to do with the actual action and work of doing something.Well into the second month of the year, the excitement of our new year resolutions are fading, and most of them have already been broken. There is something about the freshness of a new year, perhaps a feeling of new beginning, an opportunity for rebirth. I’ve been reflecting on the process of making change, stepping into and past fear, and really moving life in the direction of our choosing. This has so little to do with wanting to do something, or feeling a call to do something, but more to do with the actual action and work of doing something.

I have recently returned to working with clients in clinical practice, working both virtually Australia-wide via Telehealth, and in-person in our brand new and beautiful allied health space in Pottsville of the Northern Rivers NSW. It has been such a joy to reconnect with some old clients and to meet new ones. The transition back has been slow and steady, as we are making our way through two years of enquiries, emails, and the culmination of administration tasks that come with a two year clinical pause. If you have enquired and haven't heard back from us yet, please know that we are now back in the clinic.

Last week I had multiple discussions with people in my life about my intention to really re-centre in a deeper way than I have since becoming a mother two years ago. I have had evolving Inner Practices since my daughter was born, as quite honestly, I do not function well without practices or rituals of some sort. Maybe I function, but I certainly don’t thrive. My intention, I told friends, was to re-establish my Vedic meditation practice which I have imperfectly had for about six years.

Parents, mothers especially, internalise so much blame when their children are struggling. I believe there are many sociological and societal reasons for this that have fueled the experience of mum guilt. I have felt the emotional intensity of the maternal blame that can occur externally and internally over the last few years in my parenting, and so many mothers come into sessions with an attitude of “tell me what I am doing wrong” as they subtly and not so subtly perceive personal fault, blame and not good enough for the challenges their children face.

We are currently parenting and living in the epidemic of anxiety. As a child and adolescent psychologist, I often get asked at dinner parties, “why do you think so many kids have anxiety these days?”. Any psychologist will tell you that they have a million and one ways to dodge questions about our work at social events. Stories so often start with “…my sister” or “I have a friend that…” and we are skilled in the art of - I’d like to say boundaries - but probably more accurately avoidance.

I started my early career as an applied behavioural therapist, trained under a traditional behaviourist/psychologist who embedded the idea that every behaviour, and person, is shapable. There is a behavioural science to all overt behaviour; behaviour that we can see, observe, and operationalise. The shaping occurs through operant (Skinner’s box) and classical conditioning (Pavlov’s dogs), and can be reinforced or extinct using the the principles of reinforcement; negative and positive.